So, we're still waiting on our I-171. We got an e-mail last Thursday from our Houston CIS office saying that we have been approved by the government to adopt a child. It also said our I-171 was "forthcoming". This is THE LAST PIECE OF PAPER we need to be able to send in our dossier (our completed set of documents we've obtained) and get on the waiting list for our referral. While this is not the end of the waiting, it is the end of our part of the obtaining of documents. It gets us in line to be matched with our child and we're so ready to be done with this part and to BE IN LINE! So I get so frustrated when I check the mail daily to find that our letter is not here yet. We have been waiting on this last step since October. I totally thought we'd have our dossier submitted before the end of the year when we started this process in July. I did everything so quickly and worked so hard to get it all done. WHY ARE WE STILL WAITING ON THE US GOVERNMENT for a piece of paper they said was forthcoming and have told us we're already approved???!!!
AND THEN IT HIT ME...we wont wait A DAY LONGER than God has ordained for us to wait. God is not surprised by this delay in the least. It is not keeping us from any child much less the child that God has already appointed for our family. He knows exactly where our form is and knows exactly when we'll get it and exactly when we'll turn it all in and exactly when it will get to Ethiopia and exactly when we'll get our referral and so on. AND NOT ONLY DOES HE KNOW THIS BUT HIS WAYS ARE PERFECT! I'm so tempted to be frustrated at our Houston immigration office for being so unbearably slow but then I remember that I am NOT in control of this and the minute that I think that I am, then we're in trouble. I don't know the half of it and when I remember that God is in control then I loosen up. If we wait 6 more weeks to get that piece of paper then that will be "perfect" timing. I want to let go of my plans for this adoption and this child and lay it down at God's feet. I know that He has it worked out so wonderfully and for HIS GLORY that of course I want to surrender my self indulgences and I KNOW what HE has planned is infinitely more purposeful and better for our family. He will provide what we need when we need it and if I really believe He is who the Bible says He is then I need to remember that each and every time I visit the mailbox.
On that same note, we have also decided to request either gender for our child. Our home study social worker approved us for an infant 0-12 months old and we originally were going to request a female. I never felt "right" about requesting a girl. I kept feeling that God was speaking to me about trusting Him. Do I trust Him enough to know what is best for me and my family? It was one of those quiet convictions that I tried so hard to talk myself out of. I would totally convince myself that asking for a girl was the right thing to do. I would think "Okay God, I will adopt as you've asked BUT I get to choose the gender". Finally I spoke to Josh about it and he agreed. This is not about us and I just personally felt that choosing the gender was a little self indulgent. The minute we re-wrote our application letter I just felt this huge weight being lifted. I've always thought that lingering convictions will totally weigh you down and steal your joy. The last couple of weeks have been so joyful for me. So we're on God's time table and it will be God's decision which child will belong in our family. I always say the first time I got pregnant I would have totally chosen a girl but thank goodness God was in total control and gave us Oliver. He's so much more than just a boy...he's a soul and a personality and he's blessed us greatly. When we talk about the baby now we tell him that we've decided to let God choose which baby to give us and we tell him how wonderful God has already been to us in giving us Oliver and Wyatt that we know God is better able to make that decision. So one day when Oliver was looking at a clothing magazine he was telling me that he wanted a little dress for his baby sister. I told him that God would make that decision and then told him that he could pray and ask God for a baby sister if that is what he wanted (it changes daily). He got quiet and kept looking through the magazine and then his eyes caught a Lightning McQueen shirt and he announced that he would be praying and asking God for the Lightning McQueen shirt also. HA...we will still be teaching about prayer here in the Chambers' household!
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